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Lurkers, are you ready???,...., Colonel Jake, are you ready???,...., Colonel Jake?!?!?!,...., you may smear another 'Screedbomb', onto all of your competition!!!...
Colonel Jake is Joey Jimenez,...., who is also known as being a koOk'screedin'bastard, at every opportunity he can afford,...., when Colonel Jake was a young child growing into adulthood, and always being chaste to his heterosexual beliefs,...., he learned the elements of his surroundings, where only the best of criminal minds, could ever escape the long arm of the law,...., and being so clever that he was, and still is,...., Colonel Jake never made it to the Big House,...., and through all his experiences (living the life of crime), Colonel Jake stumbled upon the path that has brought him here today, to screed onto our presence,...., and now that he is here with us today (in this Great and Everlasting World of CyberSpace),...., Colonel Jake has aimed high and has set his goal to become???,...., a USENET GoD!!!...
Colonel Jake joined Drum & Bugle Corps. with an all female Colour Guard when he was just 8-years old,...., Colonel Jake always proclaimed, that the only good Corps., are the ones with an all female Colour Guard, and only those Corps., are the ones that anybody should ever partake of,...., when he first joined D&BC with Colour Guard,...., it was with The Squires Jr. Drum & Bugle Corps. with Colour Guard (Class "B" Corps.), and later he graduated into The Velvet Knights Jr. Drum & Bugle Corps. with Colour Guard (Class "A" Corps.),...., at first, his Corps. Hall was located in downtown Santa Ana, California (in an old Catholic Church building), but after being in The Squires for a few years, his Corps. Hall moved to Anaheim, California, and in the end, while he was in The Velvet Knights??? (for the second time), and the last time Colonel Jake marched D&BC with Colour Guard,...., his Corps. Hall finally moved to Buena Park, California, where The Velvet Knights couldn't hold on to its ghost anymore, and eventually (long after Colonel Jake had been away for a long period of time), The Velvet Knights finally died, and bit the dust big time!!!...
Also in 1977?!?!?!,...., Colonel Jake marched with The Imperial Dragons Jr. Drum & Bugle Corps. with Colour Guard of Los Angeles, California, and in 1978?!?!?!,...., Colonel Jake retreated to live the life of a Surf Nazi in Newport Beach, California, with his nephew Scotty, where he and his nephew could party eversomore with a new founded world organization known as, 'The Hard Bodies', and do as many 'local and out-of-town chicks' that only most of us (male members of society), could only dream of!!!...
Let this fact be known to all!!!,...., out of all the D&BC with Colour Guard that Colonel Jake has ever marched (three to be exact),...., not once has Colonel Jake ever been kicked out of any of them,...., no matter what any of Colonel Jake' fellow RAMD'sters or USENET competition has ever said about him period, whether it be today, in the past, or tomorrow!!!,...., and for the FAQ, Colonel Jake' last season with D&BC with Colour Guard was in 1979!!!...
Today?!?!?!,...., Colonel Jake has been married to a St. Pauli Girl for the last 14-years (an actual blondie/hottie from Germany), and has 2-daughters,...., whereas Colonel Jake sorrowfully admits?!?!?!,...., that he has only made it with his wife twice, and each time (so he can prove), gave him a daughter!!!,...., also today, Colonel Jake can express and share his D&BC memories with fellow Corps. members, that he has known during his marching years in D&BC with Colour Guard,...., Colonel Jake has found the many Bulletin Boards there on USENET, known as Public Forum Newsgroups,...., this is where Colonel Jake has found an opportunity to compete amoungst all the different Newsgroups and recieve Awards for being the best, koOk'sceedin'bastard that USENET has ever known, even tho Colonel Jake is still learning how to screedbomb everyone in USENET?!?!?!,...., Colonel Jake willfully admits that some day?!?!?!,...., he'll become a USENET GoD!!! (screed'in'da'right'opportunity),...., so as for now, this is Colonel Jake' personal Proclamation unto USENET and to his home Newsgroup known as RAMD'land (rec.arts.marching.drumcorps);
"Yes!!!,...., I dO understand that alOt Of us fOlks in RAMD'land???,...., dOnt like the way I express myself abOut sOme Of the MinOrity Members we have in D&BC tOday, yesterday, and eventually tOmOrrOw (HOmOsexuals),...., but all I can pOund tO yOu RAMD'sters there in RAMD'land is, "DEAL WITH IT!!!," ...., it isn't my fault that sOme Of yOu RAMD'sters are FAG ENABLERS that dOnt care abOut Our NatiOn, Our Flag, Our GOvernment, and Or Our NeighbOrs,...., instead yOu rather let them friggin'fags'and'lezzys jOin intO a whOle realm Of NOn-PrOfit OrganizatiOns, especially One knOwn as Drum & Bugle COrps. with COlOur Guard, and Only GoD knOws what else yOu'd enable, Or even participate in!!!..."
"SO I am Only gOing tO say this Only twice, and after that???,...., I'll never say it again tO any Of my fellOw RAMD'sters here, and Or there, in RAMD'land,...., sO here gOes?!?!?!,...., "I AM TRUELY SoRRY!!!," ...., and if I have Offended the men and wOmen (Or bOys and girls, and Or even sOme Of the INSTRUCToRS Of Drum & Bugle COrps. with COlOur Guard Of RAMD'land, Or even Out there in the real wOrld, Or perhaps Other NewsgrOups and FOrums), then, "SOBeIt!!!," ...., why shOuld I, Or anybOdy else care abOut thOse whO get Offended because Of their hOmOsexual beliefs and Or suppOrt that they have tOwards Other hOmOsexuals, and WhO Gives a Grand COulee Dam abOut any Of it anyways?!?!?!," ...., and whO else Out their is crying abOut what I have tO say???,...., loOk at all Of yOu cry babies cOmplaining abOut me, and "The Truths That I Testify!!!," ...., yOu're the One's whO are Offended by it, and are enabling it intO the D&BC's and Other OrganizatiOns ANYWAYS!!!," ...., and yOu enabling/practicing chimps (less than what it is tO be man), whO dOnt mind tO have Fecal COvered Penises in yOur mOuths at any givin' pOint Of time, Or even yOu Girl-Lap-Girls lick'a'dee'splits!!!,...., "STFU," and gO cry sOmewhere else!!!,...., tO me???,...., I find yOur enabling/practicing actiOns and Or wOrks?!?!?!,...., tO be the mOst damning and abOminable thing that sOciety has ever experienced!!!,...., fOr I believe, it wOuld have been better, that yOu have never been bOrn (if indeed yOu are a practicing FAGGoT Or FAG ENABLER), because Of The Wrath yOu'll be suffering in The Eternities!!!..."
"But anyways?!?!?! (saying it, fOr the secOnd and final time),...., "I truly am sOrry fOr Offending whatever yOu want tO call yOurself type peOple!!! (FAGS and Or FAG ENABLERS)," ...., thats all yOu abOminables, are ever gOing tO get frOm me!!!..."
"SO as I have cleared the air?!?!?!,...., and made a better understanding fOr thOse, whO have an ear?!?!?!,...., that my Only intentiOns were tO imply (and nOt create any cOnfussiOn amOungst us readers), enlightenment fOr us all,...., fOr we all need tO be strOng, and nOt let the temptatiOns Of men that try tO manipulate Our very cOre, intO believing that it is oK tO be HOmOsexual Or a HOmOsexual Enabler,...., when in fact!!!,...., everybOdy knOws it isn't right!!!,...., even if yOu, Or they are One?!?!?!,...., yOu'd still knOw it isn't right, frOm the very fabric Of yOur existance!!!,...., that it is wrOng tO be a FAG Or FAG ENABLER!!!..."
«» Colonel Jake™ with Guns & Bugles
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"How RAMD I Am!!!..."
rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
[»»»xYx«««]'""' Joey "Colonel Jake" Jimenez '"''[»»»xYx«««]
[»»»XYX«««] ''"'"The Greatness of My Being"'"'' [»»»XYX«««]
--
HaHaHa
VK all the way
Colonel Jake™
-- alt.usenet.kooks Awards --
Goofy Azzed Babboon, September 2005
Unabomber Surprise, April 2006
Bolo Bullis Foam Duck #20, April 2006
Bob Allisat Memorial Hook, Line & Sinker, May 2006
Barbara Woodhouse Memorial Dog Whistle, May 2006
-- trained by Pinku-Sensei --
Office of Illucidus Maximus, Dec 2007
AUK Pardon & Franchise Restored, Apr 2008
Order of Lenin for Usefulness, Apr 2008
»»»xXx««« ko(o )kY b( O)ogers »»»xXx«««
Official Alt.Usenet.KoOks der'KoOkshite is under construction
And then some...
"GoD HATES FAGS!!!..."
"As a PrOfOund TheOlOgical Statement?, That I'm prepared tO defend frOm The Bible against all whO disagrees!!!..."
"Each wOrd Of it?, is pregnated with pOwerful meaning!!!..." "GoD Almighty is the first wOrd?, and it means The GoD Of The Bible, The GoD Of CreatiOn, The GoD Of Eternity, whO dwells in The High and HOly Place, and with him alsO that is Of a COntrite and Humble Spirit..."
"That GoD in whOs hand, the breath Of all The SOns and Daughters Of Adam IS..."
"That GoD whO cOntrOlls The Destiny?, Of every single individual Of mankind, their lives On earth, and their lives in Eternity..."
"Thats The First WOrd?, in that prOfOund theOlOgical statement, thats The GoD we're talking abOut!!!..."
"NObOdy knOws anything?, abOut The True and Living GoD, but that which GoD has chosin' tO reveal himself, and thOse revelatiOns Of himself, including nOt Only The Attribute called The LOve Of GoD, and The Mercy Of GoD, but alsO, The HATRED Of GoD, nOt an evil passiOn as it is with men, but it is a fixed determinatiOn in The All Mighty, To PUNISH THE WICKED FOr Their Sins in HELL FoREVER!!!..."
"Thats the Bible definitiOn?, of The HATRED Of GoD!!!..."
"FAGS is an cOntractiOn Of The WOrd FAGGoTS?, which is an ElOgant MetaphOr, fOr all The HOmOsexuals and Their ENABLERS!!!..."
"FAGS?, its ElOgant, and ITS APPRoPIATE!!!..."
"They're called FAGS, a cOntractiOn Of FAGGoTS, because they have Kindled The Fires Of GoD Almighty' Wrath!!!..."
"Kindled The Fires Of Wrath?, in Their Lusts, One fOr anOther!!!..."
"Kindled The Fires Of Wrath?, by virtue Of The Place They're Headed, where The WOrm that EATS On them never dies, and The Fires Never Quench!!!..."
"By multitude Of cOmmOn sense arguments?, GoD HATES FAGS is nOt Only TRUE, ITS PRoFoUND, and ITS DIVINE!!!..."
"And I'm INTENT upOn?, publishing this message, To THE WHoLE WoRLD!!! (at least here On the WEB, and On USENET)..."
"GoD INDEED?!?!?!,...., HATES FAGS!!!..."
"How RAMD I Am!!!..."
rec.arts.marching.drumcorps
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